You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
