I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
