That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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