Whod you bang
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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