She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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