My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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