but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
