Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
