Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
