She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
