when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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