Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My dick has a subreddit
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
