The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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