Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
