No awkward lesbian experiences without me
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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