Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
