Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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