I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
