every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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