To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
