OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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