we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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