i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
