Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
