Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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