trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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