The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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