Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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