I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
