Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
