yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
