I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
How does one acquire holy water?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
