turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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