Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Randomize
