Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
