Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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