Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You smell like stripper and shame
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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