So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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