How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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