i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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