Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
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