summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
