I want to have your abortion
well you can't waste a boner
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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