i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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