He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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