i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
