if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
