I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
