2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
