I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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