Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
